How to Handle Female Managers Who Abuse their Power


(I’m reposting my comment below which originally appeared on The Federalist comment section “How Women Can Prevent Sexual Harassment At Work“, which my comment, although lengthy, is informative for men who have to deal with female managers who abuse their power in order to seek sexual favors from their male underlings.)

About 13 years ago I had a female manager use her position to try to date me. I didn’t realize what was going on, but at that time I thought her behavior was bizarre. Looking back, I can see she was abusing her power. And at that time there wasn’t information available for men to recognize the signs of how female managers abuse their power to get a man. I don’t want to give too much info about the place of employment, but the guys who are reading this here are some signs to watch for:

  1. At my job we had a rotation where people were rotated to do the easy fun work that was lucrative with the jobs that were boring and not lucrative. If you see a manager moving you out of rotation and giving all the good lucrative jobs to you without reason, take that as a red flag.
  2. In my case, if I spoke to another woman from within my department or from another, she would make up rules that I and other females could not talk to each other. She would tell other women that they were not allowed to talk to me.
  3. If she has to check in with you often, more so than she does with other workers, take that as a red flag. This can take the form of showing up at your desk, calling, emailing, etc.
  4. At this job, we were given performance reviews every 3-4 months, every manager except for her would give me a stellar review. This was her attempt at punishing me for not giving her what she wants.
  5. As another means of punishment she would try to make me do more work than the job required or what the company expected of employees.

In my case, I couldn’t leave the job because at that time the job market was dismal and I needed the job. Also, the general manager of this property (aka. the head honcho) made it openly known he has his favorites and I wasn’t his favorite. If you are in this situation, here are some tips to survive the situation.

  1. When she is around, try to act as socially retarded as possible. If she is putting out signs she’s interested, ignore those signs. Act as though you didn’t see them.
  2. Telling her that you are not interested in the nicest way possible will not work. This is a woman who is willing to break every company policy and/or law to have you this will backfire . . . she will go from being infatuated to a banshee.
  3. If you are in my situation where the top boss plays favorites and you need the job, try your best to grin and bear it.
  4. Stick to what the company policy expects of you, if she orders you go above and beyond the threshold, inform her that you just don’t have the ability to do such.
  5. Never be alone with her.
  6. Document everything (eg. date and time of encounter, location of encounter, subject of encounter, etc.) Keep a spreadsheet.
  7. Keep work and play separate. Don’t attend business parties. Do not disclose what you do or where you go on the weekends or weeknights. If a woman tries to finagle her way into your personal life, divert the conversation into mundane subjects like traffic, weather, major sporting events.
  8. Remember you are there to work a job to collect a paycheck.
  9. If and after you leave the company, you want to wage administrative violence. Every major US city has a government department that handles situations like this. You want to file a complaint with every government agency that is applicable at every level (local, state, federal.) Get it documented and turn over your spreadsheet.
  10. Don’t assume that a woman’s physical size means she can’t hurt you. She might not be able to ground and pound you, but she can make your job a living hell and tarnish your reputation. As an aside, I’ve found that women who are massively insecure, who are ideological driven, have a hard time getting man, and most of the time, they tend not to be attractive, tend to be the women who cause these problems.
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